January 5th, 2010
creativeI've never encountered a website so determined to prevent me from logging in. :P
-The Gneech
-The Gneech
annoyedStuff that you shouldn't buy in 2010 - includes such soon-to-be obsolete technology as DVDs and landlines. I find this all terribly amusing, not only because the article is an obvious marketing ploy for overpriced gadgets, but also because our family recently installed a rotary telephone. (Never needs charging, and we can save our cellphone minutes for when we're actually out of the house!) HA! Here's to the obsolete tech! XD
I have no intention of converting my entire DVD collection to Blu-ray, thank you. I can see it for something particularly beautiful, like "Lord of the Rings" or some really good hand-drawn animation, but does anyone REALLY want to fork over the dough for a Blu-ray of "Mrs. Doubtfire"? I don't believe that DVDs are going to disappear as quickly as some people think.
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There's still a commission slot open, if anyone's interested!
I have no intention of converting my entire DVD collection to Blu-ray, thank you. I can see it for something particularly beautiful, like "Lord of the Rings" or some really good hand-drawn animation, but does anyone REALLY want to fork over the dough for a Blu-ray of "Mrs. Doubtfire"? I don't believe that DVDs are going to disappear as quickly as some people think.
********
There's still a commission slot open, if anyone's interested!
nerdyAs usually happens once every six months or so in the webcomics community, a rather large storm has gathered and begun to rain onto the community. This time, however, it is from someone from whom it be least expected - Mr. Brad Guigar. Brad has been the sole contributor to Webcomics.com, a repository for information on creating and maintaining a webcomic, as well as a gathering place for creators both aspiring and veteran. Webcomics.com was born from the ashes of the Halfpixel site, which at one time included not only Brad, but Scott Kurtz (who occasionally piped up on Webcomics.com), Kris Straub, and Dave Kellett.
I was a frequent visitor to the Halfpixel forums, and when it shut down I spent some time away from the site. When I finally went back, it redirected me to Webcomics.com, and I began to visit that daily. It was nice to see new information, as well as reinforcing what I already knew. It became a regular read for me, a part of my long list of places to stop during the day.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday, when I visited, I was greeted with a message that said Webcomics.com was now requiring a $30/year subscription to access their content. At first I thought it was a joke, I really did. This was happening in the wake of the Keenspot debacle, something that happened very suddenly and out of the blue, just like this was. It was also happening in the midst of yet another war between web and print artists, and part of the war has always been about the success of pay sites. So I clicked on the "Join Now" button, fully expecting a Guigar-esque punch line of some sort. Imagine my surprise when I was taken to a PayPal site ready to deduct $30 from my account.
Imagine further the firestorm that erupted from the community.
If you're familiar with the philosophy of the Halfpixel guys, I'm sure you can figure out what the first comments were - cries of hypocrisy. The Halfpixel crew have long been arbitors of free content and abhorers of subscribtion-based business models. However, Brad was quick to justify the difference; Webcomics.com wouldn't be providing entertainment, but business advice. To this I could only shrug my shoulders. I don't necessarily agree with the attempt at the justification, as it seems the progression was "Against it, against it, against it, BUT WAIT THIS IS DIFFERENT WE'RE FOR IT NOW", but it's their business and their call. However, my disdain at the switch - and many others agree - is how the whole thing was handled.
First of all, they dropped it on us like a 16-ton weight in a Monty Python sketch. Boom, the fun is over, start paying. There was no warning. Brad made a comment that even if he had given warning, people would have still complained, and that he thought it would be better to do it like ripping a Band-Aid off. Very few people (if any) have agreed on this, and my personal opinion is that the shock to our systems was worse than slowly lowering us into the icy cold water. At least then we could have had time to warm up to the idea, and more to the point, Brad could have sold us on it better. He's a good salesman; I know, I've seen him at work at conventions. I don't understand why he would throw away that chance, since he's essentially throwing away $30 per person that gets pissed and storms off.
Secondly, there is no preview of what will be given* or any terms of service. On the front page is a laundry list of things that we'll see if we give up that $30. And after a recent couple of posts from Brad concerning "promised services" and a lack of terms of services on a site called Zingerding (a post which I cannot link to because it is now behind a subscription wall), this glaring lack of either seems hypocritical at best and a poor business move at worst. What happens if someone isn't happy with the site? Or if the site has to stop updating? Will refunds be given or is it caveat emptor? We don't know, and that's a scary thing at $30 a pop.
Third, the lack of response from Brad is a bit unsettling. He showed up a few times in the beginning, but has not shown up to address any of the problems cited. Scott has piped up a few times, unsurprisingly, but really hasn't done much either (except for one major declaration, which I will get to in a moment). I myself have been waiting for a reply to a fairly important question, and one that has been echoed by a few others. The question is in regards to the value of this investment to those of us who do long form comics, as the Halfpixel crew has long contended that short form comics fare better as money-makers. I think this is an important bit of information for a good number of artists out there.
Today, as I was reading the comments that cropped up yesterday evening and early this morning, I run across a post by Scott that has me scratching my head even harder. From the horse's mouth:
What concerns me is that this is not immediately apparent in the description on the front page of what you'll get for $30. Why would they not make that clear in the first place? It seems as if - and I'm not accusing, just inferring from what I've seen - Scott is merely justifying his position in a moment of defense. The backlash has been strong and he needs to salvage the situation. Again, whether or not that's what's happening, I don't know, but that's the way it looks. And what exactly is Scott's definition of "content"? Aren't articles considered content? If you're putting articles behind a subscription wall, you are putting content behind a subscription wall.
One thing does tempt me and many others to throw in our $30 - Robert Khoo. If you aren't familiar with that name, he is basically the force that made Penny Arcade the money machine that it is today. Khoo is known for his amazing business sense and is very widely respected in the webcomics community, as well as outside of it. However, the "laundry list" states that it will only have monthly posts from Khoo. Do I dare put my faith into him if I'm only getting advice from him every 30 days or so? I honestly don't know, and at that point the $30 becomes less of an investment and more of a gamble. I'm not good at poker, blackjack, or even slots, so why would I gamble on this?
And in case you think I'm just a nobody with an opinion that doesn't matter, allow me to point out that several legitimate figures in the community have already expressed their doubts that this switchover will be successful.
The bottom line is that this is a legitimate venture handled in a poor manner. Regardless of what I say or the scores of scorned Webcomics.com usuals that have walked away in anger, there are already people signing up. These are the people that really feel they need this advice and/or the people who so look up Brad and Scott that they can't tear their gaze away from them. I respect the two (albeit less so after this debacle), but I gave up my fanboy badge a while ago. They aren't gods. I have no doubt that they can help people, because they are two of bigger successes in the community, but they aren't sacred to me because of that.
I sincerely wish them good luck on their venture, and I wish good luck to the people jumping on board with them. Knowing my luck, these are the artists whose businesses will probably surpass my own webcomic business and become bigger successes than me because of this. And good on them. I'm a stubborn son-of-a-gun who needs a kick in the butt now and again. But this whole thing feels wrong to me, and I'll be steering clear of it for now.
*As of today (1/5/10) there is a "stub" for a blog post, showing that we will regularly get a very small taste of what's behind the wall. However, the question remains: will this be enough info to base a $30 decision on?
I was a frequent visitor to the Halfpixel forums, and when it shut down I spent some time away from the site. When I finally went back, it redirected me to Webcomics.com, and I began to visit that daily. It was nice to see new information, as well as reinforcing what I already knew. It became a regular read for me, a part of my long list of places to stop during the day.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday, when I visited, I was greeted with a message that said Webcomics.com was now requiring a $30/year subscription to access their content. At first I thought it was a joke, I really did. This was happening in the wake of the Keenspot debacle, something that happened very suddenly and out of the blue, just like this was. It was also happening in the midst of yet another war between web and print artists, and part of the war has always been about the success of pay sites. So I clicked on the "Join Now" button, fully expecting a Guigar-esque punch line of some sort. Imagine my surprise when I was taken to a PayPal site ready to deduct $30 from my account.
Imagine further the firestorm that erupted from the community.
If you're familiar with the philosophy of the Halfpixel guys, I'm sure you can figure out what the first comments were - cries of hypocrisy. The Halfpixel crew have long been arbitors of free content and abhorers of subscribtion-based business models. However, Brad was quick to justify the difference; Webcomics.com wouldn't be providing entertainment, but business advice. To this I could only shrug my shoulders. I don't necessarily agree with the attempt at the justification, as it seems the progression was "Against it, against it, against it, BUT WAIT THIS IS DIFFERENT WE'RE FOR IT NOW", but it's their business and their call. However, my disdain at the switch - and many others agree - is how the whole thing was handled.
First of all, they dropped it on us like a 16-ton weight in a Monty Python sketch. Boom, the fun is over, start paying. There was no warning. Brad made a comment that even if he had given warning, people would have still complained, and that he thought it would be better to do it like ripping a Band-Aid off. Very few people (if any) have agreed on this, and my personal opinion is that the shock to our systems was worse than slowly lowering us into the icy cold water. At least then we could have had time to warm up to the idea, and more to the point, Brad could have sold us on it better. He's a good salesman; I know, I've seen him at work at conventions. I don't understand why he would throw away that chance, since he's essentially throwing away $30 per person that gets pissed and storms off.
Secondly, there is no preview of what will be given* or any terms of service. On the front page is a laundry list of things that we'll see if we give up that $30. And after a recent couple of posts from Brad concerning "promised services" and a lack of terms of services on a site called Zingerding (a post which I cannot link to because it is now behind a subscription wall), this glaring lack of either seems hypocritical at best and a poor business move at worst. What happens if someone isn't happy with the site? Or if the site has to stop updating? Will refunds be given or is it caveat emptor? We don't know, and that's a scary thing at $30 a pop.
Third, the lack of response from Brad is a bit unsettling. He showed up a few times in the beginning, but has not shown up to address any of the problems cited. Scott has piped up a few times, unsurprisingly, but really hasn't done much either (except for one major declaration, which I will get to in a moment). I myself have been waiting for a reply to a fairly important question, and one that has been echoed by a few others. The question is in regards to the value of this investment to those of us who do long form comics, as the Halfpixel crew has long contended that short form comics fare better as money-makers. I think this is an important bit of information for a good number of artists out there.
Today, as I was reading the comments that cropped up yesterday evening and early this morning, I run across a post by Scott that has me scratching my head even harder. From the horse's mouth:
"While I would never EVER put content behind a pay wall, nor would I advise anyone at this point in time to put their content behind a pay wall, this is NOT what Webcomics.com is doing.
We’re essentially offering a paid correspondence course in webcomics. With “lectures” and interaction with myself, Brad Guigar and Robert Khoo."
What concerns me is that this is not immediately apparent in the description on the front page of what you'll get for $30. Why would they not make that clear in the first place? It seems as if - and I'm not accusing, just inferring from what I've seen - Scott is merely justifying his position in a moment of defense. The backlash has been strong and he needs to salvage the situation. Again, whether or not that's what's happening, I don't know, but that's the way it looks. And what exactly is Scott's definition of "content"? Aren't articles considered content? If you're putting articles behind a subscription wall, you are putting content behind a subscription wall.
One thing does tempt me and many others to throw in our $30 - Robert Khoo. If you aren't familiar with that name, he is basically the force that made Penny Arcade the money machine that it is today. Khoo is known for his amazing business sense and is very widely respected in the webcomics community, as well as outside of it. However, the "laundry list" states that it will only have monthly posts from Khoo. Do I dare put my faith into him if I'm only getting advice from him every 30 days or so? I honestly don't know, and at that point the $30 becomes less of an investment and more of a gamble. I'm not good at poker, blackjack, or even slots, so why would I gamble on this?
And in case you think I'm just a nobody with an opinion that doesn't matter, allow me to point out that several legitimate figures in the community have already expressed their doubts that this switchover will be successful.
The bottom line is that this is a legitimate venture handled in a poor manner. Regardless of what I say or the scores of scorned Webcomics.com usuals that have walked away in anger, there are already people signing up. These are the people that really feel they need this advice and/or the people who so look up Brad and Scott that they can't tear their gaze away from them. I respect the two (albeit less so after this debacle), but I gave up my fanboy badge a while ago. They aren't gods. I have no doubt that they can help people, because they are two of bigger successes in the community, but they aren't sacred to me because of that.
I sincerely wish them good luck on their venture, and I wish good luck to the people jumping on board with them. Knowing my luck, these are the artists whose businesses will probably surpass my own webcomic business and become bigger successes than me because of this. And good on them. I'm a stubborn son-of-a-gun who needs a kick in the butt now and again. But this whole thing feels wrong to me, and I'll be steering clear of it for now.
*As of today (1/5/10) there is a "stub" for a blog post, showing that we will regularly get a very small taste of what's behind the wall. However, the question remains: will this be enough info to base a $30 decision on?
cynicalQuite a few websites have already picked up on the upcoming Usagi plush figure from Dark Horse. I thought I would give you a look at the progression and prototypes.
Let's start with my turnarounds. These are most, though not all, of my drawings. Click on an image to enlarge it.
( click here to take a look at the prototypes )
Let's start with my turnarounds. These are most, though not all, of my drawings. Click on an image to enlarge it.
( click here to take a look at the prototypes )
I've been quite surprised by the number of e-mails I've received over the past few months that follow the theme of: "I just found Suburban Jungle and I love it -- why did you stop?" Not a raging torrent of them, mind you, but enough to notice. I also had someone tell me they liked my older art, particularly for NeverNever, because it had a lot of energy.
Of course, the latter points to the answer to the former -- the early art was full of energy because I was full of energy while I drew it. I was passionate about comic strips and had dreams of hitting it big, at a time when hitting it big in comic strips still meant being in all the papers and having Christmas specials on TV. When I was in college, Berke Breathed was a bagjillionaire on a twenty-hour work week. These days, having a syndicated comic strip and $4.50 will buy you a latte.
Fairly early on in the SJ/NN runs I was quite aware that they were not going to make me a bagjillionaire. Even within the rapidly-contracting world of comic strips I had what's generally known as a cult audience. The readers I have love my work, and for that I'm grateful, but it seems to be a very binary thing. If my stuff doesn't ring somebody's very specific bell, they couldn't care less about it, and that's not enough to be the kind of artist who "makes it big." To do that you have to have both the core cult audience, and be something that people outside the circle are also interested enough in to follow (and spend money on). While there are some specific things I can point to (such as regularity of updates), I've never really been able to identify the qualitative difference between my work and that of "the big boys" (for lack of a better term). I know the difference is there: among other things, I find that most of their work bores me senseless. But the broader audience loves it. It's just a different mindset, I guess ... whenever I make a point to hang out with more, er, "mainstream" comic artists I feel like a stranger in a strange land.
Anyway, to be perfectly honest, it was love of the art and of my fans that kept me going for ten years, even if it was dreams of stardom that got me started. But even that couldn't keep me going forever ... art needs fuel to burn, and that fuel got used up. Most of the core themes of my work to date, I've explored about as thoroughly as I can and I don't have much to say about them any more. To keep on just saying, "ditto, ditto" would be a sure formula for stagnation. So when people send me e-mails asking why I stopped, I tell them "To avoid jumping the shark." But a more accurate reason would be to say, "Because that piece was finished. It's time to come up with a new piece."
The new piece hasn't hit me yet, but when it does, you'll know. :)
-The Gneech
Of course, the latter points to the answer to the former -- the early art was full of energy because I was full of energy while I drew it. I was passionate about comic strips and had dreams of hitting it big, at a time when hitting it big in comic strips still meant being in all the papers and having Christmas specials on TV. When I was in college, Berke Breathed was a bagjillionaire on a twenty-hour work week. These days, having a syndicated comic strip and $4.50 will buy you a latte.
Fairly early on in the SJ/NN runs I was quite aware that they were not going to make me a bagjillionaire. Even within the rapidly-contracting world of comic strips I had what's generally known as a cult audience. The readers I have love my work, and for that I'm grateful, but it seems to be a very binary thing. If my stuff doesn't ring somebody's very specific bell, they couldn't care less about it, and that's not enough to be the kind of artist who "makes it big." To do that you have to have both the core cult audience, and be something that people outside the circle are also interested enough in to follow (and spend money on). While there are some specific things I can point to (such as regularity of updates), I've never really been able to identify the qualitative difference between my work and that of "the big boys" (for lack of a better term). I know the difference is there: among other things, I find that most of their work bores me senseless. But the broader audience loves it. It's just a different mindset, I guess ... whenever I make a point to hang out with more, er, "mainstream" comic artists I feel like a stranger in a strange land.
Anyway, to be perfectly honest, it was love of the art and of my fans that kept me going for ten years, even if it was dreams of stardom that got me started. But even that couldn't keep me going forever ... art needs fuel to burn, and that fuel got used up. Most of the core themes of my work to date, I've explored about as thoroughly as I can and I don't have much to say about them any more. To keep on just saying, "ditto, ditto" would be a sure formula for stagnation. So when people send me e-mails asking why I stopped, I tell them "To avoid jumping the shark." But a more accurate reason would be to say, "Because that piece was finished. It's time to come up with a new piece."
The new piece hasn't hit me yet, but when it does, you'll know. :)
-The Gneech
awakeJanuary 4th, 2010
I would like to be able to wax ebullient about the activities of my New Year's Eve and Day, and then gather the focus to engage again on other subjects. But, while I am on the side of the clock you might expect me to be after a full New Year's Eve falls on a full moon, someone has decided that 8 AM through 8 PM on a Sunday (Monday. I don't fucking care) is the perfect time to be jackhammering right in front of my lair. Every time I stubbornly try to nap through it anyway, either I soon get hungry again, or someone in safety orange will run up and knock on my door to say "I need to light your stove." (Sure, whatever. Do whatever thing, light my stove, measure my ceiling, repossess all my windows for the Queen of Trivets, what can I do. The kitchen is that way. Oh, it's electric, hahaha. Yes, this is the only apartment up here. Bye now.) I don't know what I'm going to do right now, but I won't do it well.
at wit's endWell, I guess that ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif)
reveille_d isn't the only one who can get his 'Zilla on now and then. At least not when my friend gen is playing Spore.
*looks vaguely guilty about all the stompling and chomping*
reveille_d isn't the only one who can get his 'Zilla on now and then. At least not when my friend gen is playing Spore.*looks vaguely guilty about all the stompling and chomping*
You may recall that a while back I posted a little thing called Well Ain't That a NDA-Protected Kick In the Head! which, appropriately enough, ended becoming an impromptu game of MadLibs.
Well, apparently the sheet has been lifted, or at least leaked (webcartoonists are crap at security): KeenSpot is (effectively) getting out of the webcomics bidness. Talk about the defining "end of an era" moment!
What this means for me is that I'm going to have to find m'self a new host for SJ and NeverNever, on top of all the other things needing to be done with them. It's not a huge catastrophe ... I've long suspected that KeenSpot and I would end up parting ways once SJ went into hibernation, but I certainly didn't expect it would happen the way it did.
Anyway, I'm looking at my options now. What I'd really like is to find some place that would let me build the site and host it with a ColdFusion server, just because I know ColdFusion and could make the site exactly the way I want. I'd also need to find somebody to provide ads and do all the other sorts of administrivia that I stuck with KeenSpot so they'd deal with.
I do miss the days when there were only 50 webcartoonists and we all knew each other. But as I posted this morning, that was a different world than the one we live in now.
-The Gneech
EDIT: Rephrased for TKD. :)
Well, apparently the sheet has been lifted, or at least leaked (webcartoonists are crap at security): KeenSpot is (effectively) getting out of the webcomics bidness. Talk about the defining "end of an era" moment!
What this means for me is that I'm going to have to find m'self a new host for SJ and NeverNever, on top of all the other things needing to be done with them. It's not a huge catastrophe ... I've long suspected that KeenSpot and I would end up parting ways once SJ went into hibernation, but I certainly didn't expect it would happen the way it did.
Anyway, I'm looking at my options now. What I'd really like is to find some place that would let me build the site and host it with a ColdFusion server, just because I know ColdFusion and could make the site exactly the way I want. I'd also need to find somebody to provide ads and do all the other sorts of administrivia that I stuck with KeenSpot so they'd deal with.
I do miss the days when there were only 50 webcartoonists and we all knew each other. But as I posted this morning, that was a different world than the one we live in now.
-The Gneech
EDIT: Rephrased for TKD. :)
okaySo I've already turned my back on Phantasy Star 0, and have returned to the open arms of Phantasy Star Portable. How did I ever drop this game in the first place? It rules, dammit. It also kicks the Nintendo DS in the nuts. It's... kinda easy, though; at level 9 my Human Hunter is ridiculously overpowered, but I'm only two story missions in, and I'm going to try switching to Ranger type, which should knock me down a couple notches. And alas, the multiplayer is pretty much non-existent, so if anyone out there needs help slaying rappies, I've got PSO: Blue Burst (PC) and PS0 (DS) at the ready.
Meanwhile, I can safely say that Windows XP Mode for Windows 7 is frikkin' awesome. It allows my workplace to run programs that should have been retired 5 years ago.
Meanwhile, I can safely say that Windows XP Mode for Windows 7 is frikkin' awesome. It allows my workplace to run programs that should have been retired 5 years ago.
Well, well, well, here it is 2010 and all the stuff that wasn't here in 2000 still isn't here. How disappointing! The mad scientists are really falling down on the job. Or covering their tracks better, one or the other.
On a more personal note, like many I'm using the new year/decade/whatever as an opportunity to reflect on where I've been, where I'm going, and how it's likely to play out. Some thoughts...
Officially Middle-Aged
I turned 40 when I wasn't looking. For many people this seems to be a giant scary thing, but not particularly for me. I've commented before about how I've always sort of thought of myself as being 32 years old, even when I was 20, and that's still true now. Although the truth of the matter is that I was not a happy person at 32. Better than I was at 31, but still not great. These days I'm much more comfortable in my own skin and feel fairly confident that any particular project I may embark on, I will do well at ... the only problem is deciding which one I really want to embark on. Some people freak out if they haven't Made It Big (tm) by this point in their lives, but not me. Rex Stout didn't start writing Nero Wolfe stories until he was 45, and he made out just fine. :) Besides, I've already had a taste of success with Suburban Jungle, and there's a lot to be proud of there.
Looking for a Star to Hitch To
On the other hand, putting SJ to bed has left me a lot more aimless than I thought it would. This past year has been a difficult one for non-day-job projects of any kind -- I've been coming home exhausted and stressed out a lot -- and that's made it hard to get excited about anything. Everything I might want to take on just seems so big that it's tough to commit to any of them for fear of getting trapped in it the way I felt trapped in SJ by the end. On the other hand, I know I'm not going to be content to just coming home and playing LotRO forever. I've commented before on how life has a tendency to look to me like an hourglass running all-too-rapidly out of sand, with the "Things I Want to Do" list far outstripping the "Things I'll Ever Have the Chance to Do" list. I don't know why I've got this "MUST ACHIEVE!" drive, and frankly I envy people who don't. I've often wondered if it's related to my horror of the idea that the atheists are probably right. If this is all I get ... can I really blow it all on computer games and still face myself in the mirror? [1]
Not that I don't have irons in the fire; in fact, over the past few weeks I've had two more potentially novel-worthy ideas, which I've written down so as not to lose them. I've put in some heavy groundwork for a novel idea I had last year, and my brain is still chewing on others I was playing with while working on SJ. Any or all of these could be grand, or they could go plop. That's part of why it's so hard to commit to them, the fear that I might sink blood, sweat, and tears into them only to get a universal reaction of "Meh." Of course, if I never do any of them, none of them will succeed.
Welcome to the Present
One thing I've been thinking about is letting go of the past. And by that I don't mean the usual "I forgive the emotional scars of my childhood" stuff you hear about, but a more general kind of bringing myself up to date. This can probably best be described by example:
On my cubicle wall, I have a calendar of "classic cars." This month's is a 1937 Mercedes Benz 540k, much like the one pictured here. This is a rare and beautiful car of a kind not seen these days. And in the past, I've often sighed wistfully and wished to live in a world where cars like this were the norm. Except with air conditioning. And automatic shift. And GPS. And satellite radio. And seatbelts. And safety glass. Okay, so what I really want is a modern car that LOOKS like this. The car in this picture is 73 years old ... it's from a very different world than the one we live in today.
And that's the way I am about a lot of things. I've never wanted to live in the past, but I have always longed for a present that preserved more of the bits of the past that I like. I watch Top Hat and yearn for the days when waistcoats, bowties, and cufflinks were the mode of the day ... but I'd never want to live in a segregated, women-trampled, robber-baron world with no A/C and Europe getting ready to tear itself apart again.
Most of the fiction I enjoy is older than I am -- or pastiches of the same. My favorite movies are either in black-and-white, or nostalgic throwbacks to the same. Ditto music. In just about every facet of my life, there's some "days of yore" current to be found. Whenever I encounter something, I always like to dig under the surface and trace back its origins, and I usually discover that I prefer the original to the current incarnation.
The problem is, I've got to live in the world that really exists now, and it has of late become a bit more difficult to resolve my love of the "then" with the reality of "now." And as I've pondered this problem, I've gradually come to the conclusion that what I really need to do is to let go of it. Not to discard my love of things classic, but to stop trying to force them into an unwilling present. I realize this all sounds quite vague and I wish I could make it more concrete, but it's really hard to put it into words that will make sense to anyone who doesn't already live inside my head and know what it's like in here.
Where To, Where To?
For the moment, I have no immediate plans [2] other than to keep working and keep my eyes open for the Next Big Thing (tm) in my life. I'm sure there's something out there, it's just a matter of finding it, or more likely letting it find me. I started Suburban Jungle on a whim and it's been my biggest project to date. It's perfectly possible that something I am playing with now, could become just a big if not more so by this time next year. We'll see!
-The Gneech
[1] My core beliefs, such as they are, are pretty hard to nail down. On a fundamental level, I've always just sort of felt that some sort of reincarnation was true; at the same time, I don't really believe it. I describe myself as "living in hope," because I really REALLY don't want life to boil down to a series of chemical reactions that end when they reach the expiration date and you're gone forever -- but if there is an afterlife of some kind I will be gobsmacked. It's not a happy place mentally, but I don't see any way out of it.
[2] Well, that's not entirely true ... I also intend to get a haircut.
On a more personal note, like many I'm using the new year/decade/whatever as an opportunity to reflect on where I've been, where I'm going, and how it's likely to play out. Some thoughts...
Officially Middle-Aged
I turned 40 when I wasn't looking. For many people this seems to be a giant scary thing, but not particularly for me. I've commented before about how I've always sort of thought of myself as being 32 years old, even when I was 20, and that's still true now. Although the truth of the matter is that I was not a happy person at 32. Better than I was at 31, but still not great. These days I'm much more comfortable in my own skin and feel fairly confident that any particular project I may embark on, I will do well at ... the only problem is deciding which one I really want to embark on. Some people freak out if they haven't Made It Big (tm) by this point in their lives, but not me. Rex Stout didn't start writing Nero Wolfe stories until he was 45, and he made out just fine. :) Besides, I've already had a taste of success with Suburban Jungle, and there's a lot to be proud of there.
Looking for a Star to Hitch To
On the other hand, putting SJ to bed has left me a lot more aimless than I thought it would. This past year has been a difficult one for non-day-job projects of any kind -- I've been coming home exhausted and stressed out a lot -- and that's made it hard to get excited about anything. Everything I might want to take on just seems so big that it's tough to commit to any of them for fear of getting trapped in it the way I felt trapped in SJ by the end. On the other hand, I know I'm not going to be content to just coming home and playing LotRO forever. I've commented before on how life has a tendency to look to me like an hourglass running all-too-rapidly out of sand, with the "Things I Want to Do" list far outstripping the "Things I'll Ever Have the Chance to Do" list. I don't know why I've got this "MUST ACHIEVE!" drive, and frankly I envy people who don't. I've often wondered if it's related to my horror of the idea that the atheists are probably right. If this is all I get ... can I really blow it all on computer games and still face myself in the mirror? [1]
Not that I don't have irons in the fire; in fact, over the past few weeks I've had two more potentially novel-worthy ideas, which I've written down so as not to lose them. I've put in some heavy groundwork for a novel idea I had last year, and my brain is still chewing on others I was playing with while working on SJ. Any or all of these could be grand, or they could go plop. That's part of why it's so hard to commit to them, the fear that I might sink blood, sweat, and tears into them only to get a universal reaction of "Meh." Of course, if I never do any of them, none of them will succeed.
Welcome to the Present
One thing I've been thinking about is letting go of the past. And by that I don't mean the usual "I forgive the emotional scars of my childhood" stuff you hear about, but a more general kind of bringing myself up to date. This can probably best be described by example:
On my cubicle wall, I have a calendar of "classic cars." This month's is a 1937 Mercedes Benz 540k, much like the one pictured here. This is a rare and beautiful car of a kind not seen these days. And in the past, I've often sighed wistfully and wished to live in a world where cars like this were the norm. Except with air conditioning. And automatic shift. And GPS. And satellite radio. And seatbelts. And safety glass. Okay, so what I really want is a modern car that LOOKS like this. The car in this picture is 73 years old ... it's from a very different world than the one we live in today.And that's the way I am about a lot of things. I've never wanted to live in the past, but I have always longed for a present that preserved more of the bits of the past that I like. I watch Top Hat and yearn for the days when waistcoats, bowties, and cufflinks were the mode of the day ... but I'd never want to live in a segregated, women-trampled, robber-baron world with no A/C and Europe getting ready to tear itself apart again.
Most of the fiction I enjoy is older than I am -- or pastiches of the same. My favorite movies are either in black-and-white, or nostalgic throwbacks to the same. Ditto music. In just about every facet of my life, there's some "days of yore" current to be found. Whenever I encounter something, I always like to dig under the surface and trace back its origins, and I usually discover that I prefer the original to the current incarnation.
The problem is, I've got to live in the world that really exists now, and it has of late become a bit more difficult to resolve my love of the "then" with the reality of "now." And as I've pondered this problem, I've gradually come to the conclusion that what I really need to do is to let go of it. Not to discard my love of things classic, but to stop trying to force them into an unwilling present. I realize this all sounds quite vague and I wish I could make it more concrete, but it's really hard to put it into words that will make sense to anyone who doesn't already live inside my head and know what it's like in here.
Where To, Where To?
For the moment, I have no immediate plans [2] other than to keep working and keep my eyes open for the Next Big Thing (tm) in my life. I'm sure there's something out there, it's just a matter of finding it, or more likely letting it find me. I started Suburban Jungle on a whim and it's been my biggest project to date. It's perfectly possible that something I am playing with now, could become just a big if not more so by this time next year. We'll see!
-The Gneech
[1] My core beliefs, such as they are, are pretty hard to nail down. On a fundamental level, I've always just sort of felt that some sort of reincarnation was true; at the same time, I don't really believe it. I describe myself as "living in hope," because I really REALLY don't want life to boil down to a series of chemical reactions that end when they reach the expiration date and you're gone forever -- but if there is an afterlife of some kind I will be gobsmacked. It's not a happy place mentally, but I don't see any way out of it.
[2] Well, that's not entirely true ... I also intend to get a haircut.
From
gamera_spinning. Chances of it hitting the big screen here are virtually nil, but DVD ... that's another story!-The Gneech
In a fit of insanity (or poverty), I have decided to offer art commissions. I have two slots open for character portraits, $10 apiece. More info at my DeviantArt page HERE. First two comments here or there win. We'll see if there are any takers. ;D
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In other news, I am going to try to get into a drawing class at the local community college. Yay! :D
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In other news, I am going to try to get into a drawing class at the local community college. Yay! :D
artisticJanuary 3rd, 2010
This is an e-mail I received from my good friend Josie. It's regarding her and her husband's cat, Zorba (full name: Zorba the Geek). I'm re-posting it here because I want to help out little Zorba as much as possible by passing it on to as many people as I can.
*****
Dear friends,
I am searching for a loving, compassionate person who has the time and energy to take a cat into their lives who need re-training. We rescued Zorba when he was a little kitty and adopted him from the ASPCA over 3 years ago. He is lovable and playful--he loves to attack laundry that's being folded and hide in paper bags. He'll cuddle right up on your feet while you're sleeping and sit in your lap while you're watching movies. He chases catnip toys all around the house and is absolutely adorable.
His life has been a bit tumultuous--he had urinary tract blockage very early in his life, twice, and we decided to give him the expensive surgery that prevents future blockage. Unfortunately, when we bought a new couch last month, he peed on it. This is behavior that he used to have as a kitten, but that we really hadn't seen since his last blockage. We cleaned our couch with the cat-pheromone solution that they sell at the natural pet store that is supposed to stop cats from marking things twice, but it didn't solve the problem and he continued to spray on the couch. We tried locking him in rooms away from the couch when we weren't home, but then he just started going to the couch and marking it when we were home. We tried multiple kinds of pheromone solution. And then it got to the point where he was doing it several times a day--our house smelled like cat pee and our couch was always wet from the cleaning solution.
With heavy hearts, we realized that we had to give our beautiful pet up for adoption. We've put him in a shelter in Manhattan and it just makes us sick to know that he's in a cage and terrified. We really do love him and want him to be in a home.
Do you know anyone who is good at retraining problem cats and who wants to take on this lovable little guy as a project? He might be better as a cat that has some access to the outdoors.
*****
If you're interested and/or capable of helping Zorba out, please drop me an e-mail and I will put you in contact with Josie.
Thanks.
*****
Dear friends,
I am searching for a loving, compassionate person who has the time and energy to take a cat into their lives who need re-training. We rescued Zorba when he was a little kitty and adopted him from the ASPCA over 3 years ago. He is lovable and playful--he loves to attack laundry that's being folded and hide in paper bags. He'll cuddle right up on your feet while you're sleeping and sit in your lap while you're watching movies. He chases catnip toys all around the house and is absolutely adorable.
His life has been a bit tumultuous--he had urinary tract blockage very early in his life, twice, and we decided to give him the expensive surgery that prevents future blockage. Unfortunately, when we bought a new couch last month, he peed on it. This is behavior that he used to have as a kitten, but that we really hadn't seen since his last blockage. We cleaned our couch with the cat-pheromone solution that they sell at the natural pet store that is supposed to stop cats from marking things twice, but it didn't solve the problem and he continued to spray on the couch. We tried locking him in rooms away from the couch when we weren't home, but then he just started going to the couch and marking it when we were home. We tried multiple kinds of pheromone solution. And then it got to the point where he was doing it several times a day--our house smelled like cat pee and our couch was always wet from the cleaning solution.
With heavy hearts, we realized that we had to give our beautiful pet up for adoption. We've put him in a shelter in Manhattan and it just makes us sick to know that he's in a cage and terrified. We really do love him and want him to be in a home.
Do you know anyone who is good at retraining problem cats and who wants to take on this lovable little guy as a project? He might be better as a cat that has some access to the outdoors.
*****
If you're interested and/or capable of helping Zorba out, please drop me an e-mail and I will put you in contact with Josie.
Thanks.
-
hopeful
I was idly working on my Zoidberg impression in the shower (it's a fun impression to do) when the realization of where it came from struck me.
70s comedy was littered with the idea that if it looks Jewish, it's funny. There doesn't even have to be a joke per se; all someone has to do is say "Oy gevalt!" and it's automatically supposed to be funny. The two giants of movie comedy at the time, Mel Brooks and Woody Allen, came from Jewish origins themselves, so they were often forgiven for such humor by observing it was all part of the self-reflective nature of the Me Generation. Or, they could have been the Willie Best and Mantan Moreland of the seventies. Your call.
Even Airplane, a highly respected comedy which I still love, succumbs to this with a joke about Air Israel using planes that have yarmulkes and beards. Mad Magazine was also another heavy offender in this area. I grew up thinking there was something inherently funny about "halvah". When that style of humor finally fell out of fashion, I did wonder why it was supposed to be funny at all.
So now we have Zoidberg, who's essentially a slow-witted Jackie Crustmason, and I wonder... is it subtly making fun of the stereotype, or quietly continuing it? I'm going to give the creators credit and say it's the former, because the character in general doesn't give any other indication of the standard Jewish caricature other than the voice. Still... man, what poisonous pills we have baked into our pie.
70s comedy was littered with the idea that if it looks Jewish, it's funny. There doesn't even have to be a joke per se; all someone has to do is say "Oy gevalt!" and it's automatically supposed to be funny. The two giants of movie comedy at the time, Mel Brooks and Woody Allen, came from Jewish origins themselves, so they were often forgiven for such humor by observing it was all part of the self-reflective nature of the Me Generation. Or, they could have been the Willie Best and Mantan Moreland of the seventies. Your call.
Even Airplane, a highly respected comedy which I still love, succumbs to this with a joke about Air Israel using planes that have yarmulkes and beards. Mad Magazine was also another heavy offender in this area. I grew up thinking there was something inherently funny about "halvah". When that style of humor finally fell out of fashion, I did wonder why it was supposed to be funny at all.
So now we have Zoidberg, who's essentially a slow-witted Jackie Crustmason, and I wonder... is it subtly making fun of the stereotype, or quietly continuing it? I'm going to give the creators credit and say it's the former, because the character in general doesn't give any other indication of the standard Jewish caricature other than the voice. Still... man, what poisonous pills we have baked into our pie.
Y'know, Patrick Troughton's entire run wasn't as long as David Tennant's good-bye. Personally, 'twere it me, I would have stayed on at least one series with Moffat at the helm to see where it went before I bailed. I'm hoping we'll get back to quirky pulp SF adventure and away from the current soap opera in space. Let's have the Doctor solving mysteries again instead of having every episode end with the suicide-of-the-week!
Having gotten that out of my system, I notice they blew up the TARDIS control room. So presumably we're going to have New Baby Doctor with New Baby TARDIS, New Baby Opening Titles, and so forth. I also Saw What They Did Thar with the weeping angels reference and identifying Timothy Dalton as Rassilon. [1]
One final rant, I still wish they hadn't dropped a logical bridge on Donna. Of all the RTD-era companions, she was head and shoulders above the rest, for all the same reasons that Sarah Jane was so great during the Pertwee/Baker years. If there was a single companion through the whole series that should have stayed on for five more years, it was Donna. But frankly, I don't see it happening, and that's a disappointment.
Ah well, that's all history now (so to speak), and Steven "Curse of the Fatal Death"/"Blink" Moffat is in charge now. Let's hope for great things!
-The Gneech
[1] Side note: Timothy Dalton as Lord-President of Gallifrey! I will give them Awesome Points for that. And also for "Worst! Rescue! Ever!"
PS: From an un-named Tweeter: "If Timothy Dalton regenerated, would he become Pierce Brosnan?"
Having gotten that out of my system, I notice they blew up the TARDIS control room. So presumably we're going to have New Baby Doctor with New Baby TARDIS, New Baby Opening Titles, and so forth. I also Saw What They Did Thar with the weeping angels reference and identifying Timothy Dalton as Rassilon. [1]
One final rant, I still wish they hadn't dropped a logical bridge on Donna. Of all the RTD-era companions, she was head and shoulders above the rest, for all the same reasons that Sarah Jane was so great during the Pertwee/Baker years. If there was a single companion through the whole series that should have stayed on for five more years, it was Donna. But frankly, I don't see it happening, and that's a disappointment.
Ah well, that's all history now (so to speak), and Steven "Curse of the Fatal Death"/"Blink" Moffat is in charge now. Let's hope for great things!
-The Gneech
[1] Side note: Timothy Dalton as Lord-President of Gallifrey! I will give them Awesome Points for that. And also for "Worst! Rescue! Ever!"
PS: From an un-named Tweeter: "If Timothy Dalton regenerated, would he become Pierce Brosnan?"
January 2nd, 2010
This one took longer to do than I expected, and with the craziness of the holidays I couldn't get it done in time.
Candy Kane the Christmas Fairy by ~roofpig on deviantART
Candy Kane the Christmas Fairy by ~roofpig on deviantART
accomplishedIt's no secret that I had been a friend of a writer, Andre Norton, since my teen years. Over the years, we had written a lot of letters to each other, and she had sent me a lot of books, while i sent her a few things I thought might interest her. One of those things was a design for a sword made of dragon scale. I had gone into great detail on how such could be fashioned.
Andre passed away in 2005, and sometime later, a book named "Dragon Blade", written by Andre Norton and Sasha Miller came out. The person who was Andre's caretaker, Sue Stewart, sent me a copy of the book. i was very surprised that Andre had used my design in the book, and dedicated the book to me.
One may wonder where the vanity part comes in. Well, today I stopped by the Camp Humphreys Post Exchange and while finding some new books that are being issued by Andre Norton and co-writers, i saw three copied of "Dragon Blade". I grabbed all three copies and went back to the manager's office. I pointed out to the store manager, that the person the book was dedicated to, and the person holding those three books were one and the same. I then offered to autograph all three books right above my name on the dedication page. Just because. I wanted to make sure this was OK with the manager, because that would be vandalism, otherwise.
The manager was ecstatic. he not only said it was OK, he thought that was a wonderful idea. So I signed them, and put them right back on the shelf.
Yep, call me vain. Camp Humphreys has a celebrity and that with $2 might get you a cup of coffee here on post.
Andre passed away in 2005, and sometime later, a book named "Dragon Blade", written by Andre Norton and Sasha Miller came out. The person who was Andre's caretaker, Sue Stewart, sent me a copy of the book. i was very surprised that Andre had used my design in the book, and dedicated the book to me.
One may wonder where the vanity part comes in. Well, today I stopped by the Camp Humphreys Post Exchange and while finding some new books that are being issued by Andre Norton and co-writers, i saw three copied of "Dragon Blade". I grabbed all three copies and went back to the manager's office. I pointed out to the store manager, that the person the book was dedicated to, and the person holding those three books were one and the same. I then offered to autograph all three books right above my name on the dedication page. Just because. I wanted to make sure this was OK with the manager, because that would be vandalism, otherwise.
The manager was ecstatic. he not only said it was OK, he thought that was a wonderful idea. So I signed them, and put them right back on the shelf.
Yep, call me vain. Camp Humphreys has a celebrity and that with $2 might get you a cup of coffee here on post.
January 1st, 2010
New Retrojunk Article - Cartoon Crushes of my Youth. Enjoy!
happy
Wow, Twenty-Ten. I have no good reason to believe it will be any better than 2009 (world news-wise, anyway... while the rest of the planet goes to shit, I guess I'm reasonably well-off).
I tried using Dreamwidth for a while, thinking that maybe a new "community" would be cool, but alas. I posted to it about as much as I posted to LJ in the last year. I figured I might fire this up again to see what was going on. ...I actually have no idea what's going on.
I don't think anything has really changed since I was last seen online. The Daughter continues to grow at an alarming rate, with her first birthday rapidly approaching. We've decided to tell all our local friends to just not bother getting her any gifts; there is virtually no room left in our house for more stuff. :-(
The only other things I could possibly talk about are work (I continue to be employed, yay), and hockey, but, um... I won't. My apathy spares you from boredom!
...Actually, if anyone else has Phantasy Star 0, let me know. Maybe multiplayer will improve this game, otherwise I might be driven back to PSO. (YIIIIIIIIIIIKES)
I tried using Dreamwidth for a while, thinking that maybe a new "community" would be cool, but alas. I posted to it about as much as I posted to LJ in the last year. I figured I might fire this up again to see what was going on. ...I actually have no idea what's going on.
I don't think anything has really changed since I was last seen online. The Daughter continues to grow at an alarming rate, with her first birthday rapidly approaching. We've decided to tell all our local friends to just not bother getting her any gifts; there is virtually no room left in our house for more stuff. :-(
The only other things I could possibly talk about are work (I continue to be employed, yay), and hockey, but, um... I won't. My apathy spares you from boredom!
...Actually, if anyone else has Phantasy Star 0, let me know. Maybe multiplayer will improve this game, otherwise I might be driven back to PSO. (YIIIIIIIIIIIKES)